function randomText() {
var randomNum = Math.random() * 10;
var theText = "You Suck!";

if ( randomNum > 0 && randomNum < 0.99 ) {
   theText = "Your mother smells like salad.";
 } else if ( randomNum > 1 && randomNum < 1.99 ) {
   theText = "What are you looking at?!";
 } else if ( randomNum > 2 && randomNum < 2.99 ) {
   theText = "Press the Print Scrn key now! ... You're stupid!";
 } else if ( randomNum > 3 && randomNum < 3.99 ) {
   theText = "Look behind you!";
 } else if ( randomNum > 4 && randomNum < 4.99 ) {
   theText = "You suck at math, nimrod!";
 } else if ( randomNum > 5 && randomNum < 5.99 ) {
   theText = "Happy suck day! Go home! If you're already home, go suck an egg.";
 } else if ( randomNum > 6 && randomNum < 6.99 ) {
   theText = "Why do you suck? Oh, wait. Now I remember.";
 } else if ( randomNum > 7 && randomNum < 7.99 ) {
   theText = "You're like a turd, but not as soft.";
 } else if ( randomNum > 8 && randomNum < 8.99 ) {
   theText = "Your mom doesn't like you anymore.";
 } else if ( randomNum > 9 && randomNum < 9.99 ) {
   theText = "When did you become lord of the d*ckheads? Good job.";
 } else if ( randomNum > 9 && randomNum < 9.99 ) {
   theText = "Never use olives as erasers... You Jerk."; 
 } else  {
   theText = "You're the suckiest suck that ever sucked.";
 }
   return theText;
}